Out With the Aught's and In with the Teens!

This New Year's Eve day, reading about the rising of Charlotte's uptown crown* I am sitting and thinking of reflections and resolutions and what 2010 could bring. Here's my list:

1. Health - Healthier cooking in the form of less processed foods, more fresh. Growing more in our garden for use in our kitchen. 2009 was a wonderful start, producing watermelons, peppers, carrots and more. I am going to focus on less meat centered dishes and more produce in each meal. Also, no junk food and less eating out.


2. Wealth - Less spending, more frugal. We are already on the right track, with careful thermostat monitoring we've taken the coldest winter in years in stride, reducing our gas bill from $300 last year to $103! Also, sitting back and reflecting these last few weeks during the time to buy gifts and donate items made me realize that a few good quality items are much better than a bunch of cheap throw aways. Better for our pockets and better for the environment. Credit card debt has been a big stress in our marriage and we are hoping to clear that out soon. Can't wait to learn how to sew and use my sewing machine to make things vs. buy things. Ashton's already got a great idea using a bathroom rug to make a car mat and Kate wants a nap rug. And, of course, guess who will be crayons this Halloween (Angelique and Gavin are invited to join the crayon bunch if they would like to.) Wish me luck!


3. Family - Less yelling and more loving. I hope to continue to teach the children that good manners and good listening are what Mommy and Daddy are really asking them for. Dad wants more cleaning as we go and I would like to see the kids fight less and play more. And we both want the kids to enjoy each other instead of competing with each other. I can't wait to see my first born grow in a leap and boud to start kindergarten. While my heart will be both heavy and joyful on that day, I am looking forward to more one on one time with Kate while he's there.

The Aughts brought Paul and I together and Paul down South, a mortgage, a cat, a baby boy, marriage, an A.A. & B.A. degree, two career changes, a baby girl and so much more (all of which I am so thankful for). But as I now turn my focus forward, I am hoping for a less tumultuous decade where I am able to slow down and enjoy my husband and children, this house we've worked to build and fill with love, the simple pleasures in life and each and every precious day to the fullest. Happy 2010!

* FYI - Charlotte raises something for the New Year's Eve countdown, doesn't lower it. (From Charlotte Observer Mon. Dec. 28, 2009 article) "In many cities, whether it's the Times Square ball in New York City, or the giant lighted beach ball at Carolina Beach near Wilmington, some object will be dropped to lead the countdown to 2010. Not in uptown Charlotte. Here, the Queen's lighted crown will be hoisted 25 feet just before midnight Thursday to part the curtain on the new year. "We like the symbolism of hope's rising," said Moira Quinn, spokeswoman for Charlotte Center City Partners, the organization producing the festivities. "It's the rising of a new year, and shutting the door on a year that was tough on a lot of people."

Perspective

Ashton "wow'd" me and brought a tear to my eye when he told me "Momma, I have three grandmas and three grandpas. Grandma Kim & Poppa Freddy, Grandma Dar and Poppa, Grandpa-pa in Massachusetts and Grandma the Old One. I am RICH!" Yes he is, yes he is.
Kate made me smile with a peek into her thoughts too. My mother had 5" of snow last week and all we got here in the Piedmont was rain. Both kids heard about the snow and tried to insist we head up there so they could play in it. Kate was especially determined to make it up there, saying she wanted to make snow angels. In disbelief I asked her how did she know what a snow angel was and telling her she didn't know how to make one. Next thing I know she's laying in the middle of our living room rug making a "snow angel", arms and legs moving back and forth. She then hops up and admires her "angel", while impossible to see, clear as day in her imagination I am sure.
I am RICH and surrounded by angels.

Tracking Santa - NORAD

This year we will be tracking Santa with the help of NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Comand).
NORAD is a bi-national U.S./Canadian military organization responsible for the aerospace defense of North America. NORAD provides warning of impending missile and air attacks, safeguards the air sovereignty of North America, and maintains airborne forces for defense against attack. NORAD performs this important mission 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. But on Christmas Eve each year, NORAD has one additional mission: Tracking Santa around the world! To learn more about NORAD, go to http://www.norad.mil/

Wild Things

Tonight at dinner Kate hid the peas on her sectional dinner plate with a triangle of her flat bread pizza. So Ashton couldn't see them. Ashton wasn't even looking at them, by the way.
Next, Ashton stood up on his chair with his arms outstretched and said "To Infinity and Beyond" and launched himself to the floor.

Fun-O-Ween Day!

This year the kids and I decided to have our own fun day the day before Halloween, so we could really start getting into the Halloween spirit. Richard from across the street came over and the fun began!

First we at pumpkin and white chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. The fiber and Vitamin C is not a bad way to start off the day, if I do say so myself!Then we read stories (We're Off to Find the Witch's House, 5 Little Pumpkins Sitting on a Fence and Where's Baby's Pumpkin?). We then took some time to "dance it out" by watching and following our family Monster Mash webclip.

Next we had snack time with special Halloween trail mix (popcorn, crackerjack, reses' pieces, graham cracker cookies and pretzel rods) with "witches blood" (apple juice) or "goblins brain" (chocolate milk). Next we watched "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown".
Finally we ate a lunch of grilled cheese ghosts with monster pieces (mixed fruit) and ghoul's fingers (pickles).
It was so much fun and made me thankful I get to stay at home with them during these precious years. :)

Happy Halloween from the Reids!

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What Will Their Future Hold? (15 + years later)

I stole this video from a former classmate's blog. We both remember watching these commercials air and I actually recall thinking, no way will this stuff happen in my lifetime. Sure enough, we've surpassed most of the promises and funny thing, AT&T does bring much of it! I wonder how things will change for Ashton & Kate in their lifetimes...
Video from 1993 (I was 12ish!)

"Kate" lyrics by Ben Folds Five

"Kate"

lyrics by Ben Folds Five

(Make-up by Kate)

She plays wipeout on the drums
The squirrels and the birds come
Gather round and sing the guitar
Oh i. . .have you got nothing to say
When all words fail she
Speaks
Her mix tapes a masterpiece
Walks through the garden
So the roses can see
Oh i. . .have you got nothing
To say
And you can see daisies
In her footsteps
Dandelions, butterflies
I wanna be kate

Everyday she wears the same
Thing
I think she ___

Shes everything I want
Shes everything Im not
Oh i. . .
Have you got nothing to say
She never gets wet
She smiles and its a rainbow
And she speaks and she
Breathes
I wanna be kate

Down by rosemary and cameron
She hands out the
Bhagavad gita
I see her around every couple
Days
I wanna see her so that
I can say. . .hey kate

Taekwondo Ashton

About a month ago Ashton started TaeKwonDo and is doing well with it. He has moments of frustration and anger, but overall he's adjusting and doing pretty good. He is expected to go a minimum of two times a week but can go up to five. The classes are 45 minutes long and a mix of girls/boys with ages 3-6. The instructors are great, very positive and help him handle his discouragement well.
He first got to choose his uniform, he had the option of black, red or blue and chose blue. He is a "Super White Belt" and already has earned 2 stripes! (Blue stripe and a green stripe.) After he earns 8 stripes (each color representing one skill each - (Focus, teamwork, control, balance, memory, discipline, fitness & coordination) he will then test to earn a "Super Yellow Belt" then Super Gold, Super Orange, all the way up to Super Red. To get to his first "Super Belt" he'll be expected to demonstrate various blocking techniques, a form, self defense, stomp kick and basic punches and kicks on the shield. He's been given a reference book with all the info about the program in it.
Our hope is this program helps him learn to listen and follow directions. We also are happy to see him do some physical activity that he enjoys.

Bad News...

The bad news is Ashton has a cavity. The good news is....well...don't have any right now. :(

What Being a 2nd Born is REALLY Like...

This video is a perfect example of what being a 2nd born is really like. I mean, look at the way we don't even pay attention to the poor infant (Kate) and the fact she is a few weeks old at most and probably suffered a bit of brain damage or something from this.

Had that been our 1st born, a wild toddler (Ashton) wouldn't have been allowed within 10ft of him. Poor Kate, but she took it all in stride, as she continues to do each and every day. Such a sweet girl! We don't intentionally ignore her, I keep telling myself we just let her experience more things... *Watch Kate's head the WHOLE clip.

Completly Accurate

Click for Complete Accurate View of My Day to Day with the Kids, Particularly While in a Car -

Mrs. Angry Reaches Her Limit: http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=1346130377&k=Z3LZ3ZP3S6YAUCD1QB64STXPQ4CG

(Courtesy of friends and fellow parents Chirs and Amanda McEwen)

LOL

I don't know how and I don't know when, but Ashton's picked up a very distinct laugh. I knew when I first notice his laugh change that I'd heard it somewhere before and after a few days I figured out where. ASHTON LAUGHS LIKE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. I think we'll be monitoring his t.v. viewing a tad closer from now on...
See Video below for example...

Cake and Berries with Grandma Rossmeisl

Growing up, it simply wasn't summer if I didn't taste Grandma's strawberry shortcake. She'd rise early in the morning, cut and sugar the berries and set them to marinate on the sun porch. She didn't use biscuits, but pound cake, a cheap alternative that was encouraged during the Great Depression of her youth.

She'd tell me what she had brewing when I woke for breakfast and promise that, if I ate all my dinner and was a good girl, I'd get an extra dollop of homemade whipped cream with mine later that evening.

Under the shade of the Concord Grape arbor we'd eat our dinner in the waning sun of the late afternoon. After I gulped down my food I'd eagerly await the beat up tray of carefully made up desserts and notice mine in an instant, confirming my goodness by the extra-large mound of fluffy white cream, carefully drizzled with sweet, red juice.

Nothing has or could taste as good as that first bite of Grammie's summer Strawberries & Pound cake.

Apart

Yesterday we met up with Paul's mom, Darlene, and her friend Tracy at the Columbus, OH Zoo. We spent a great day exploring all there is to do at the Zoo (and there is PLENTY) then relinquished the kids to their Grandma. (More about the actual Zoo trip later).
I am sad, worried and miss them terribly, but happy to have some time to myself.

Photos -
http://the704reids.shutterfly.com/3873

Southern By the Grace of God

WOW! Ashton just said "Shucks!" when he didn't get what he wanted. LOL! Paul and I tried to keep moving along, like we didn't notice, but a few giggles did sneak out.
Also, as I type, he's helping Paul try out the new Waffle Iron we got him for his birthday. They are mix. Or, since Ashton just assured us in his best big boy voice ever while trotting over to the fridge to grab 2 eggs, "I'm the chef Daddy.". So, well, I guess Paul's assisting him. :)

Thankful

Two days ago I heard some tragic news that made me stop and be thankful for my own situation. Someone I know had a niece who gave birth this week to a baby that died due to strangulation by it's own umbilical cord during delivery.

This was horrible to hear, particularly since Kate, when born, had her umbilical cord wrapped and knotted around her own neck. I remember the doctor saying he had never seen anything like it and him likening it to a sailor's knot of some sort.

You see, it all started with impatience...mine. Being as big as a house and chasing around a toddler in the dog days of summer was just about more than I could handle, never mind that Kate was taking her sweet time arriving. After her due date came and went, I think it was around the 1 week mark after it I started pleading with my OB to induce labor and get her out of me.

He agreed and we scheduled an induction for Sept. 15, 1.5 weeks after her due date. We checked into the hospital the night before and I was given Ambien (sleeping pill) by the nurses so I would be rested and ready for labor inducing in the morning.

Around 4:15am I remember being roused from sleep by what I thought was labor. I woke Paul up and told him the baby was coming and to call the nurse. Two nurses came in and told me it wasn't time yet and to go back to sleep. I tried to, but the contractions were too strong.

I then made Paul get the nurses back in to check me about 15 minutes later. I remember the nurse was grumbling to herself that she was busy and I wasn't ready, but agreed to check my cervix. It was then that she lifted the sheet and yelled to me "Whatever you do, don't push yet! I've got to get the doctor!" She then hurried out of the room.

Frantic and dazed from the sleeping pill, I looked to Paul trying to figure out what was going on. He then checked under the sheet and screamed out "I see the baby's head! Where is the doctor?" I then looked to the door of our room just in time to see the doctor stumbling in putting his shoes/booties on. He hurriedly sat down on a stool and pulled up to my "area" just in time to coach me to push, the baby was in fact, as I had told them, "coming". (Why doesn't anyone EVER listen to the mother in situations like these???)

After the normal birthing process occurred, Katherine Elizabeth (Kate) arrived into this world and we received the standard "It's a girl!" (which we knew) and I waited for her to be placed on my chest so I could meet her. I guess I got caught up into hearing the nurses talk about her amazing strawberry blond hair, (me thinking she must be blond like her daddy but it was tinted with blood or some fluid) but, as the minutes ticked by, I became worried. As soon as I began to speak up, she was given to me and we were told of how lucky we all were. She did have her own umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and it had become tied, so had she waited until we had scheduled her for delivery, she may not have made it. The doctor also went on about the oddness of the type of knot it resembled and how unique that was. But, honestly, I guess I thought death in childbirth was a thing of long ago historical novels and surely it wouldn't have happened in the new high-tech hospital we were in, so I just shrugged him off thinking she was never in any REAL danger.

Now, two and a half years later, as I heard the awful story of my friend's niece's loss, I was reminded of how lucky we are to and how thankful I am that Kate is with us today, happy and healthy!

Kate's Worst Fear

Ever since Kate was a teeny-tiny baby she has been deathly afraid of car washes. She cries when we pass them on the street, talks about them with fear in her voice and runs away from things she mistakes for car washes. And, well, it's my fault.

When she actually WAS a teeny-tiny baby we took our new van through a car wash at our local Auto Bell and, as we went into the wash, I didn't realize her door wasn't shut all the way. I'm not talking about it being wide open or anything, but just enough so that when the high speed rinse came on she was sprayed some. My poor thing started screaming like there was no tomorrow! Next all the noise and giant mops dragging across our window didn't settle her down of course.

I was exhausted from mothering a newborn, sleep-deprived me didn't know what to do, because the way the Honda is, you have to open the door to close it and we were on a conveyor-belt deal with an un-maned car in front of us. So we had to just ride the thing through. Poor Kate apparently still has nightmares from when we rode through the dryers almost 3 years later.

She also hates getting water poured over her head at bath time. Weird coincidence or have I traumatized her in more ways than I know? God I hope not!

Looking back I think I should have been given and would have failed a parenting test, but hey, what can you do about it now. Needless to say, car washes are her biggest fear and I take full responsibility. Now the world knows why and you can come get me now with the handcuffs. (My poor baby girl!!!)

So, if you notice our car getting a little dusty, for Kate's sake, please don't write "Wash Me" on the back window.

Ashton-isms

Lately Ashton is trying out some grow up talk. Sometimes it comes out right, some times wrong, but usually unexpected either way. Enjoy!

• Ashton:"So, what's with the guy mowing Susan's lawn anyways?" (He inserts the word "anyways" anywhere in a sentence and often.)


• Ashton: "Kate can wear my Superman PJs, but not on Sat." Me mildly amused: "Why, what's going on Sat?" Ashton: "I don't know, Sats are just kinda weird. So no PJs for Kate on Sat." (He also thinks kinda and weird should be in about every sentence. )


• Ashton: "Is it tomorrow yet?" (Paul and I can't figure out how to explain the concept of tomorrow to him so he can get it.)


• Ashton: "I want $64,000 so I can buy a toy." or "In 960 minutes I'll be ready." (Numbers don't quite mean what they should I guess.)

Love this time with them!

Super Parenting...and What the Rest of Us Are Doing.

On Here and Now with Robin Young this segment caught my attention: "Bad Parenting - Literary critic Steve Almond joins us to discuss a slew of new memoirs in a hot new genre that some are calling “Bad Parenting.” Authors discussed in the segment: Diana Joseph, Robert Wilder, Rebecca Woolf. Find Steve Almond’s essays in the books, “Blindsided by a Diaper” by Dana Bedford Hilmer and “The Book of Dads” by Ben George."

I find myself laughing, thinking and sympathizing with this segment. Fascinating is the subject matter to me, particularly the discussion on where today's culture of "Super Parenting" comes from. Steve Almond talks about how, 40 years ago, parents were surrounded by extended family and were given advice and help by the experienced. Now, in our culture of high achievers and distanced families, parents project this need to be the best and least vulnerable upon ourselves and hold each other to impossibly high standards that may be tearing the fabric of our communities apart.

I hope that, through my honest and direct blog postings and stories I share with everyone I am single handily helping to change this stigma. I hope that my parenting is portrayed as rocky, but filled with good intentions; clueless, but learning; and filled with many emotions, but ultimately cemented by love and humor. Honest and true, it is what it is, a wild and unexpected ride filled with stomach lurching turns and thrill filled descents and climbs. As crazy as it is I wouldn't trade this part of my life for all the money in the world. But I would like more calmer days and less chocolate on the carpet mornings! :)

The Years Have Rolled Around....

Today Ashton, Kate, Paul and I took Scott and Gavin roller skating for Scott's birthday. Kate was so excited and couldn't wait to get her skates on. Ashton was amp'd up and was ready to go. Paul was nervous and mumbling things to himself along the lines of "It better be like riding a bike...". I was just happy to have the kids out of the house doing a physical activity. We had a blast.

Ashton looked like an octopus on wheels because at his skate size the wheels moved. Because Kate has smaller feet, the skating rink fixed the wheels so the wouldn't roll. She basically walked around the rink and danced to the music.

Gavin slept peacefully in his "wheels" (stroller) and when he awoke watched his daddy fly around the rink countless times, happy and smiling.

The afternoon took me back to the weekends of my youth, being dropped off at the rink around 7pm and being picked up at 11pm, spending time as an adolescent among my friends discovering who I was and where I fit in.

The most amazing part of the whole afternoon with my kids was laughing to myself how the Hokey Pokey song played was the exact same version that was played when I was a kid. Somethings never change!

Where Does The Time Go I Still Wonder...?

It's been so long since I've wrote, I'm not sure where to start! Here's a stream of conscience list of things that come to mind -

• Kate wakes me up most mornings saying "It's a beautiful day Mommy, wake up." She then locks me out of my own room to keep me from trying to crawl back in bed at 6am.
• Ashton blows me kisses when he leaves to go somewhere when I have to stay home.
• Ashton is VERY excited learning about plants/seeds this week at preschool. He rushes outside every morning in his PJs to check on our strawberries to see how they are coming along. He rushes to school to see how their seeds are sprouting.
• Now that we are finally out of the drought our yard and gardens are turning out beautifully! We are growing carrots, lettuce, strawberries, broccoli, peppers and watermelon in a beautiful raised box planter Paul built me one afternoon.
• Every day Ashton asks if it is December yet, eagerly awaiting his 5th birthday.
• Every day Kate asks if it is Angelique's birthday yet, eagerly awaiting the time when we will give her the inflatable pool we bought for her.
• Ashton is trying out small talk on the phone. He says things like "Hows it doing?" and "So.....what are you going?"
• Ashton got a medal today from his 1st extracurricular activity, soccer. He is VERY proud of it and tells me he will wear it every day for everyone to see.
• Kate is a wonderful helper, empyting the dishwasher and doing the laundry with Daddy's help.
• Kate is a tremendous artist and can draw a nearly perfect face and includes eyes, nose, ears, mouth and hair. It's her signature and appears everywhere - on the walls, on papers on my desk, on her toys.
• Kate enjoys painting and I'm currently searching for a gently used kid's easel to put out in the garage for her. Ashton's BIG time into tools and loves to fix things. I'm looking for a gently used workbench for him.
• Blue's Clue's is out, Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob Square Pants are in on tv.
• Hide and Go Seek is the new favorite game to play inside or out and they are actually counting now and taking turns seeking and hiding.
• Ashton is very much into board games and tried to play "Life" the other day with us, pretending to get money and pay money. Kate just likes driving the pink car around the board across the hills making "vroom-vroom" sounds for now.

There is so much more, but that's all I can think of right now! I wish I could freeze this summer in time for eternity...but knowing I can't...will try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Earth Hour

Tonight at 8:30pm we will be shutting down our power for 1 hour. I plan to spend the time talking with Paul. I hope to help the Earth and our marriage all in one fell swoop! Ashton and Kate will be spending the time dreaming or we may head downtown to watch the skyline go black...

Where Does The Time Go?

I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

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Good Genes

I just wanted to mention that my grandmother, Grandma Rossmeisl, just turned the big 9-5 this week! WOW! 95 years old!
Born in 1914, she has seen so many things change and so many stay the same. She told me today she remembers the depression and people running on the banks. She spoke of the lessons she learned to be careful with money and how they are as applicable today as they were 80 years ago! I mean, wow!
She used to fill an afternoon telling me of all the changes and advances she's seen happen to the world and I'm so glad I was able to listen.
The greatest thing of all about my Grandma is the youth she still carrys with her and the sparkle in her eye as she jokes and laughs with me. She still keeps busy and her mind is sharper than mine is today, always remembering to ask about my husband and children. I wish that I am half as active as she is at 52.5 and am just like her! She is firm and stern, but a big softy when it comes to babies and small children.
The most precious thing she has taught me was to leave the working world and to "hold tight to my little ones, because when they go to school, they belong to someone else for 8 hours a day and are no longer mine." She is soooooo right! I love you Grandma and I miss you! Until we meet again. ;)

Biggun'

Ashton had his 4 year old appointment earlier this week and here are his stats:

• Height - 44 inches (taller than 95% + boys his age) *He grew about 4 inches this past year
• Weight - 48.2 lbs (heavier than 95% + boys his age) *I was surprised by this, he seems so slim to me!
• Body Mass Index - 17.4 (not quite sure if 90% is a good number or not?)

Yes, yes he takes after Paul. But, if I remember correctly, when I asked Darlene about Paul as a child, she seems to recall him being slightly above average as a child then shooting up in height around high school. I wonder what path Ashton's on.

Snowy Night

The little ones finally got a chance to see snow falling, as the snow storm of 2009 began to blanket our area around 6pm last night. They thoroughly enjoyed it, throwing tiny snowballs made from tiny hands and helping Paul make a snow person on our back deck.

Kate, being that naturally girly-girl she is, was so funny grabbing an umbrella before she would venture out. Funny thing though, she did try to get out the front door without shoes! She was also so adorable, sticking her tongue out and telling me "I caught a big one Mommy, yum-yum-yum!"

Ashton was so excited, as he was the first to notice the all day rain change to sleet ("Mommy, what's that click click noise outside?") then to snow ("EVERYBODY COME LOOK! THERE'S SNOW ON THE CARS!"). He was the first one up this morning ready to play in it, having dressed himself all by himself in his jacket, shirt, hat, shoes without socks and running shorts. He was so mad I made him put his pants on! :)

I am so thankful for this March snowfall, happy Ashton & Kate got to actually see the magic of snow falling from the heavens.

PHOTOS HERE: http://the704reids.shutterfly.com/

Slow Like a Turtle...

Ashton started "Soccer Shots" Wednesday and based on what he demonstrated at home, it's a great fit! Basically it's an elective he takes each Wed. Coach Josh gathers all the kids that signed up for it and takes them outside for 1 hour and works with them on the fundamentals of soccer. Ashton's been working on his soccer skills with Paul and seemed excited to go to school for soccer. He reported to us that he likes "Coach Josh" and that he learned the following and demonstrated the skill very proudly!

1st you kick the ball s-l-o-w like a turtle, then FAST LIKE A RABBIT!
Slooooow like a turtle, then fastlikearabbit!

Cracks me up when I seem him do it and glad to see he learned something and found his niche. I'll try and snap a photo of him or video of him doing it and post it up here soon.

Today Was a Good Day

Ashton wanted everyone to know he had a good day today at preschool. He did not go to time out at all and was a good listener, plus it was Gabe's birthday and everyone got to eat giant cupcakes!

Kate also had a good day and got to color and play at preschool and only cried for 2 minutes when I left her.

So, in spite of the recent sea of bad/terrible/horrible days, this all adds up to Dawn having a good day too!

My Little Valentines

Each night before Ashton & Kate take a bath, they set a decorated apple juice container outside our front door for "Cupid". While they take a bath, Cupid comes by and deposits some sort of Valentine's Day fodder (chocolate hearts, tiny snow globes with hearts inside, mini-puzzles, etc) into it, but only if they take a bath/brush teeth/put on pjs.

For 4 years I fought Ashton and for 2 Kate on getting into the tub (they have always loved it once they were in it) and now as soon a the last bite of his dinner is chewed Ashton is naked and running the bath water without even a prompting. He always sounds so excited drying off asking Paul each night "Did Cupid come? Did he??"

I guess I could have continued to carry them/threaten them/punish them into doing what I was telling them, but this way has been so much more pleasant! And they have learned about Valentine's Day and filled the dreary cold and dark winter month of January with the warmth of anticipation and excitement of a holiday that is about L-O-V-E and for L-O-V-E.

Next month I will try my best to delight them into noticing signs of spring - think flower buds, seeds sprouting, daffodils appearing to both instill the wonderment of mother nature's passing of time and begin a lifelong appreciation of nature. I feel in the rush-rush-rush of our daily lives, taking time to stop and notice the flowers is paramount and smelling them is a necessity. Oh yes, and, as the red-haired Kate so clearly demonstrates, we'll be sure to squeeze in some talk of leprechauns to discuss our Irish ancestry too...right around March 17! (My great-grandmother is from the County Cork in Ireland...but were Kate gets her leprechaun-ess is another story for another post!)

Second Born - KER

Second Born Share: Here are my answers to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my second born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? yes, we knew we wanted someone for Ashton to play with



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? yes



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Wow, that was fast. We only tried for a month! (Ashton & Kate are 22 months apart - we were going for more like 24-30 months)



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Pregnancy Test



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then Paul's mom this time



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? September 2 I think, Kate was two weeks late!



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 4 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes and spicy food (Mexican, Thai, Cajun, etc)!



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes and Kate coming two weeks late in the dog days of a hot NC summer!



12. WHAT WAS YOUR SECOND CHILD'S SEX? girl



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 20 on top of the 20 I still needed to loose from my first pregnancy.



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, two



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? She was two weeks late. Also, when Kate came out she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her throat in what the doctor could only describe as a knot he'd never seen before. She almost was a stillborn baby. Thank God she came when she did!



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the same birthing center



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 3 hours. Pushed for 5 minutes.



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul, she came so fast there was no time for anyone to get there!



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 8 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? September 15



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Katherine Elizabeth (Kate)

First Born - ADR

First Born Share: Here are my responses to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my first born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? no, it was a wonderful surprise



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? no, but we are now



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Disbelief, nervous, excited



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 22



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Morning sickness climbing Crowder's Mountain



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then my mom



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? December 17 I think...



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 5 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes



12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? boy



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 40



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, three



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? Preclampsia and weight gain



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the brand new birthing center (it was only 2 months old!)



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 24



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul and my mom



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? December 2



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Ashton Daniel

True Love!

Where Does the Carrot Go?

Last Thursday morning Kate and I were hanging out when she told me she wanted to go to the Library. I clairified by having her indicate her preference for the "Train Library" (Matthews) or the "Game Library" (Independence Regional). She gave an enthusiastic "Train!", so off to the Matthews library we went. While we were there we ran into one of Ashton's old classmates and her mom (A.). A. suggested we check out the only story hour Matthews offers which you don't have to book a month in advance, happening in 10 minutes. Kate seemed up to it so in we went!

I will say the storyteller must have meant well, but she came off as pretty rigid for a group of 2-4 year olds, always "shush-ing" them and the parents as well. We did have fun dancing and singing in between several stories, but the really interesting part came during the arts & crafts time.

Each child received a blank sheet of colored paper and a zip lock baggie full of the parts of a snowman, (hat, two arms, carrot nose and eyes.) with a glue stick. Kate seemed pretty comfortable holding the glue stick and I just handed her the parts, one by one. She seemed very intent on what she was doing and placed everything where she liked it. She had two arms on one side, the hat covered the face and the carrot looked more like a weird growth coming out of it's neck, but she loved it and showed it proudly to me. I was so amazed that she managed the glue stick all by herself and worked diligently on it, I didn't pay attention to much of anything else.

After a while, the story teller rounded up the empty plastic bags and glue sticks. We were then told there'd be one last song and we should hold our snowman's out in front of us as we danced. As the music played I glanced around the circle, ready to admire each child's work. Now, here's the kicker...every snowman was perfect. I'm not talking about 1 or 2, but every snowman except Kate's had the eyes where they should be, nose right in place and one arm on each side. All I could think about at first while the music played is "Kate and/or I messed up. Why is our snowman different?" But then my thoughts turned to astonishment at what I was seeing. There was no way that 15-20 two-four year olds would produce such perfect snow people on their own. No way.

So, what does this mean? That we, as mothers, have such an obsession with perfection that it rears its' ugly head even during a library art & craft session? Does it mean we are robbing our children of their independence and creative process as we buckle under conformity? What is wrong with imperfection and who's to say a snow person should have one arm per side? Or does it simply mean the other children have had more exposure to snow and what snow people generally look like than Kate's southern self? What does it mean...I don't know.

What would you have done? Directed your child and supervised, fixing it for them as the project went along? Or let them have a go at it, building their own version of a snow person?

I tell you what I do know, after the story time let out Kate was the only child I saw carrying her snow person with her, displaying it proudly to anyone who's attention she could catch. The vast majority of the others ended up very neatly piled on the top of the trash can. Next time I may suggest one arm per side, but only once and only if she looks puzzled.

Potty Humor

Let's see, where do I begin? Ashton has gone 3 weeks without pull ups and is, dare I say, potty trained? Sure he tends to drop trow and pee on anything that doesn't move, but hey, at least he's not having accidents in his pants! I guess having a restroom in his new preschool class was all he needed. (His old preschool had a shared restroom in the hallway for all rooms)
Kate is restarting her potty training now that her new preschool is on board and just cracks me up. She told me yesterday that her naval is her "pee pee button" and if she pushes it hard enough pee pee will come out! Also, when she tries to make #2, it's like something out of the Austin Power's movie. I almost expect to hear "Who does #2 work for?" with all of the loud grunting noises she thinks she needs to make.
Also, yesterday in the span of 10 minutes all of the following happened:

• First, Ashton was trying to "fix" Paul's assisted pull up machine in the garage with a screwdriver, slipped and fell hitting his private area on the way down. We rushed in to the wailing child make sure he was not bleeding (he wasn't) and carried him to the couch where I held and hugged him.


• Then Kate, ever the caring sister, came to him with a look of concern all the while telling him "No cry Ashton, no cry." She then offered to help the boo-boo to make it "all better", saying "I kiss your pee-pee and make it all better." I quickly redirected her to his cheek, assuring her that would be the best place to heal the pain.


• While Paul and I were consoling Ashton in the living room Kate wandered into the kitchen where Paul and I had been cleaning up from dinner. Noting we were busy with Ashton, she decided to sneak a few sprinkles that she found in a jar on the table. The next problem arouse because they weren't sprinkles, they were crushed red pepper flakes. Having near convulsions she screamed out in agony as I rushed to see what she had done. Me: Here is some water. Kate: (Chug chug chug) Me: All better? Kate: Noooooooooo! Paul: Try some chips! Kate: (Eat eat eat) Me: Chips make it all better? Kate: Nooooooooo! Me: Here is some milk. Kate: (Drink drink drink) Me: All better? Kate: Nooooooooooo! Me: How about some crackers? Kate: It hurt Mommy! Me: I bet it does Kate. Here is some more milk. Kate: Ok. Ouch Mommy ouch! Me: Drink your milk Kate. Paul, can you open this bottle of wine?


• All this was in the span of 10 minutes or less!

Yes, kids keep you on your toes. I tell you what, the FEMA Director has nothing on me!

Holy Chocolate Batman!

They did it again! More plotting in bed late at night by either Ashton or Kate led to the following scene which I had to wake up to Monday morning. (By the way, this is Betty Crocker Fudge Icing) . Thankfully it was time to get the carpets cleaned anyways and Daniel from my earlier post: http://ipretendwithyou.blogspot.com/2008/09/always-judging-always-judgin.html did an excellent job of getting it cleaned up. (Daniel did laugh at the tiny chocolate handprints). Not only were my carpets a mess, so were my walls, 36"TV and children.

What a thing to wake up to! I just ordered them to the tub, washed them off and asked them "What am I going to do with you?". They saw the tears welling up and offered apologies with kisses and helped clean up what they could. They made empty promises not to "play with chocolate" again and I accepted them with all the hope I could muster. What else could I do?

Snow Day!

I just got in from work and about 25 minutes ago it started snowing! It's coming down fast and hard and will be there in the morning for the children. I always get so giddy about snow in Charlotte, as it is almost an annual event, coming and going in a day or so. Paul confided in me earlier tonight he thinks my excitement is cute, but can get annoying after a while. (I guess when you grow up in Detroit, snow in winter is like sun during the day.) I rushed home to wake the kids and show them this rare event, as they've been learning about snow for the past 2 weeks in preschool. Tonight Ashton reminded me just how much like his daddy he really is. I ran upstairs, sat on the edge of his bed, and gently woke him up. He sat up, alarmed I had interrupted his dreams. He blinked his eyes and rubbed them as I excitedly told him it was snowing big fat flakes outside. Once he realized what I was telling him, he barked at me "No I don't want to see snow" and buried his face in the pillow. So I kissed his head, patted his back and turned off the light. Kate was simply unable to be roused from her deep sleep and will also miss the show. Oh well, hope they get to enjoy it in the morning!

Taken the morning after:

Kate & Ashton, Apart of the Dream

Today, on MLK Day, I spent time listening to a recording of the August 28, 1968 speech given in front of the Lincoln Memorial. This is across from where tomorrow, the 1st African-American president will be sworn in. My own personal dream is that, as white southerns, when Kate and Ashton are old enough to realize the meaning behind what he spoke of, it will be so far distant in history they will never be able to relate to it. That is my dream.

"...And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

I think that beyond black and white, there are new challenges today that Martin may not have seen coming. I feel and see a spreading gap between the many Latino and South American immigrants that reside in the south, helping to literally lay the foundations and build the walls of our ever sprawling suburban lives. With Richard and Renee as close friends I hope this helps the children see beyond color and/or origin and judge on content of character (as MLK spoke of). Also, as members of a the upper-low class or lower-middle class, there are tremendous disproportionate opportunities for people that are under privilege. And, females still lack equal representation in many fields and senior level jobs. So, as the white southerns Martin spoke of, the preception is false that Ashton and Kate hold all the power. They themselves will face struggles against what they are born into, but I still naively hope that life does not limit them based on any limits that they do not impose on themselves.

Life is too short to fill with hatred of differences, when we all have something amazing to offer. Ashton and Kate, if you read this, seek the good and interesting qualities in people, be mindful of the bad and derogatory, and never stop learning through travel and interacting with people of all backgrounds, race and origins.

Circles

Tonight while I was putting Kate to bed, she opted to draw with her Magna-doodle instead of reading books. She's really into circles lately and drew what looked like a dust cloud. I asked her what did she draw for me? She gazed thoughtfully at the drawing for a moment then reported it was "balloons". Then I asked her to draw another picture. She made a small circle, proudly reported it was a "bubble" and touched it while making a poping sound. She is so great with pretending, I love this creative side of her!

Mommy Tantrums Do Exist!

Yes, my children love to push my buttons. They must lay in bed at night, planning out their day with a special focus around random, naughty "To Do" lists. I mean, really, the things they pull off can't be spur of the moment. You don't just wake up one morning, wander downstairs and think "Hey, a 3 lbs Costco sized-bag of trail mix would look GREAT on the living room floor...organized by nut type of course! The last time I did it size didn't work out so well, as demonstrated when Mom yelled at me/put me in time out/bordered on the brink of CRAZY." That kind of debauchery would surely take some kind of planning right? That type of havoc just isn't spontaneous. I mean...really!?!?!

Since I've become a mother I swear my patience has more than tripled in capacity. But you'd never know it from the amount yelling and screaming that sometimes flows out of my mouth or all the tears of frustration that will just spring to my eyes. I found this article in the NYTimes and was happy to see I'm not alone. Check it out! I will say, after the fact I do smile and laugh, but I'll be the first to admit, in the moment I cry or yell...sometimes loudly.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/can-it-be-good-to-yell-at-your-kids/

Seemed Like a Good Idea!

Tried to teach the little ones to ski over the holidays. Two- and four- year olds with waxed boards strapped to the bottom of their feet pointing down a steep snow-covered slope. Yeah...seemed like a good idea at the time. The good news is noone broke ANYTHING! :) (That's Paul's ski next to Kate's ski!)

Check out Grandma Darlene's photos of the excursion: http://ronanddar.shutterfly.com/58

Here are my photos:http://the704reids.shutterfly.com/2991

No Shapes; No 4,5; No Potty!

Kate is growing and changing so quickly, right before our eyes. She's kind and compassionate, but stern in her ways. She has an ever widening vocabulary, but simply REFUSES to learn shapes. We'll look through her shape book and she'll identify the object, for example, a toy box, but won't call it a rectangle. She won't even SAY THE WORD "rectangle". She simply tells me "No shapes". She also refuses to admit the number "4 and 5" exist. When she counts anything she starts with "1,2,3" omits "4 and 5", jumping right to "6" then on to "7,8,9,10"!. It's kinda funny but pretty frustrating at the same time.

Ashton is working on potty training, doing fairly well with #1 but not so good with #2. He did wear underpants the entire week last week, but became constipated over the week as a result of not going #2. Funny thing though, when Paul noticed today Ashton was getting ready to go #2 while they were in the middle of nowhere at our neighborhood playground, Paul gave him the ok to "cop a squat" and go. But, for some random reason, Paul directed him to the tennis courts where Ashton proceeded to do his business. Right in the middle of taking care of the deed (I guess, I was not there) someone came through walking their dog. Paul did clean the mess up and dispose of it properly, but, the tennis courts? REALLY?!? But I guess when you have to go, you have to go! Ashton, if you ever read this, please believe, we really are doing the best we can. Honest!

Still Sick...

I'm still sick! So, after 12 days of this chest nonsense I headed up to the Urgent Care today to be seen. I've got the generic "bronchitis" and was prescribed an antibiotic, albuterol inhaler and nighttime cough syrup. But, the interesting part about this was the breathing treatment the nurse gave me while in the office. Ever since Ashton was 1-year-old he's had chronic respiratory problems. Pneumonia here, severe bronchitis there and he's received many, many breathing treatments. When I got my breathing treatment today the nurse advised me it may make me feel "jittery". WOW! She wasn't kidding! I felt like I had about 10 cups of coffee too many and couldn't stop shaking. Even my eye lids were twitching as I walked out of the office. It was horrible and I feel sooooooooo bad for my little Ashton! And, come to find out, the dose I received was only a half-dose, the amount they give children! The inhaler is supposed to be less intense, so we'll see. Hopefully the antibiotics will clear everything up and there will be no need for more drugs. And I swear, I will do everything in my power to keep Ashton healthy so he doesn't have to feel like that again!

Kate As Teacher, Feminist, Genius!

I am raising a feminist! I am so excited! Today when I asked Kate if her twins are "boy babies or girl babies" she looked at me and with a slightly surprised look and quite simply said, "They are babies". Well taught Kate, well taught! She reminded me of the best parts of my college years, my "Gender in Communication" classes. I am a huge proponent of Gender-neutral language, particularly in the environment of children. I try to frame Ashton & Kate's view of the world in ways that are not over simplifying. I want the world around them and their experiences to not be limited by their chromosones, but by what they value and are interested in.

If you are curious about Gender-Neutral Communication, check out Wiki's results here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_language_in_English

Sick, Sick, SICK!

I'm in the midst of a nasty chest congestion cough that is wearing me down to a nub. My blog posts, photo updating and video uploading have come to a basic stand still (this may be the last for a while) and I'm not that great with returning phone calls right now. Hopefully I'll be back on my feet again soon. Until then...Happy New Year! 2009 is going to be simplified and streamlined. :)