Slow Like a Turtle...

Ashton started "Soccer Shots" Wednesday and based on what he demonstrated at home, it's a great fit! Basically it's an elective he takes each Wed. Coach Josh gathers all the kids that signed up for it and takes them outside for 1 hour and works with them on the fundamentals of soccer. Ashton's been working on his soccer skills with Paul and seemed excited to go to school for soccer. He reported to us that he likes "Coach Josh" and that he learned the following and demonstrated the skill very proudly!

1st you kick the ball s-l-o-w like a turtle, then FAST LIKE A RABBIT!
Slooooow like a turtle, then fastlikearabbit!

Cracks me up when I seem him do it and glad to see he learned something and found his niche. I'll try and snap a photo of him or video of him doing it and post it up here soon.

Today Was a Good Day

Ashton wanted everyone to know he had a good day today at preschool. He did not go to time out at all and was a good listener, plus it was Gabe's birthday and everyone got to eat giant cupcakes!

Kate also had a good day and got to color and play at preschool and only cried for 2 minutes when I left her.

So, in spite of the recent sea of bad/terrible/horrible days, this all adds up to Dawn having a good day too!

My Little Valentines

Each night before Ashton & Kate take a bath, they set a decorated apple juice container outside our front door for "Cupid". While they take a bath, Cupid comes by and deposits some sort of Valentine's Day fodder (chocolate hearts, tiny snow globes with hearts inside, mini-puzzles, etc) into it, but only if they take a bath/brush teeth/put on pjs.

For 4 years I fought Ashton and for 2 Kate on getting into the tub (they have always loved it once they were in it) and now as soon a the last bite of his dinner is chewed Ashton is naked and running the bath water without even a prompting. He always sounds so excited drying off asking Paul each night "Did Cupid come? Did he??"

I guess I could have continued to carry them/threaten them/punish them into doing what I was telling them, but this way has been so much more pleasant! And they have learned about Valentine's Day and filled the dreary cold and dark winter month of January with the warmth of anticipation and excitement of a holiday that is about L-O-V-E and for L-O-V-E.

Next month I will try my best to delight them into noticing signs of spring - think flower buds, seeds sprouting, daffodils appearing to both instill the wonderment of mother nature's passing of time and begin a lifelong appreciation of nature. I feel in the rush-rush-rush of our daily lives, taking time to stop and notice the flowers is paramount and smelling them is a necessity. Oh yes, and, as the red-haired Kate so clearly demonstrates, we'll be sure to squeeze in some talk of leprechauns to discuss our Irish ancestry too...right around March 17! (My great-grandmother is from the County Cork in Ireland...but were Kate gets her leprechaun-ess is another story for another post!)

Second Born - KER

Second Born Share: Here are my answers to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my second born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? yes, we knew we wanted someone for Ashton to play with



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? yes



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Wow, that was fast. We only tried for a month! (Ashton & Kate are 22 months apart - we were going for more like 24-30 months)



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Pregnancy Test



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then Paul's mom this time



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? September 2 I think, Kate was two weeks late!



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 4 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes and spicy food (Mexican, Thai, Cajun, etc)!



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes and Kate coming two weeks late in the dog days of a hot NC summer!



12. WHAT WAS YOUR SECOND CHILD'S SEX? girl



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 20 on top of the 20 I still needed to loose from my first pregnancy.



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, two



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? She was two weeks late. Also, when Kate came out she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her throat in what the doctor could only describe as a knot he'd never seen before. She almost was a stillborn baby. Thank God she came when she did!



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the same birthing center



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 3 hours. Pushed for 5 minutes.



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul, she came so fast there was no time for anyone to get there!



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 8 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? September 15



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Katherine Elizabeth (Kate)

First Born - ADR

First Born Share: Here are my responses to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my first born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? no, it was a wonderful surprise



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? no, but we are now



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Disbelief, nervous, excited



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 22



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Morning sickness climbing Crowder's Mountain



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then my mom



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? December 17 I think...



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 5 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes



12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? boy



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 40



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, three



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? Preclampsia and weight gain



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the brand new birthing center (it was only 2 months old!)



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 24



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul and my mom



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? December 2



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Ashton Daniel

True Love!

Where Does the Carrot Go?

Last Thursday morning Kate and I were hanging out when she told me she wanted to go to the Library. I clairified by having her indicate her preference for the "Train Library" (Matthews) or the "Game Library" (Independence Regional). She gave an enthusiastic "Train!", so off to the Matthews library we went. While we were there we ran into one of Ashton's old classmates and her mom (A.). A. suggested we check out the only story hour Matthews offers which you don't have to book a month in advance, happening in 10 minutes. Kate seemed up to it so in we went!

I will say the storyteller must have meant well, but she came off as pretty rigid for a group of 2-4 year olds, always "shush-ing" them and the parents as well. We did have fun dancing and singing in between several stories, but the really interesting part came during the arts & crafts time.

Each child received a blank sheet of colored paper and a zip lock baggie full of the parts of a snowman, (hat, two arms, carrot nose and eyes.) with a glue stick. Kate seemed pretty comfortable holding the glue stick and I just handed her the parts, one by one. She seemed very intent on what she was doing and placed everything where she liked it. She had two arms on one side, the hat covered the face and the carrot looked more like a weird growth coming out of it's neck, but she loved it and showed it proudly to me. I was so amazed that she managed the glue stick all by herself and worked diligently on it, I didn't pay attention to much of anything else.

After a while, the story teller rounded up the empty plastic bags and glue sticks. We were then told there'd be one last song and we should hold our snowman's out in front of us as we danced. As the music played I glanced around the circle, ready to admire each child's work. Now, here's the kicker...every snowman was perfect. I'm not talking about 1 or 2, but every snowman except Kate's had the eyes where they should be, nose right in place and one arm on each side. All I could think about at first while the music played is "Kate and/or I messed up. Why is our snowman different?" But then my thoughts turned to astonishment at what I was seeing. There was no way that 15-20 two-four year olds would produce such perfect snow people on their own. No way.

So, what does this mean? That we, as mothers, have such an obsession with perfection that it rears its' ugly head even during a library art & craft session? Does it mean we are robbing our children of their independence and creative process as we buckle under conformity? What is wrong with imperfection and who's to say a snow person should have one arm per side? Or does it simply mean the other children have had more exposure to snow and what snow people generally look like than Kate's southern self? What does it mean...I don't know.

What would you have done? Directed your child and supervised, fixing it for them as the project went along? Or let them have a go at it, building their own version of a snow person?

I tell you what I do know, after the story time let out Kate was the only child I saw carrying her snow person with her, displaying it proudly to anyone who's attention she could catch. The vast majority of the others ended up very neatly piled on the top of the trash can. Next time I may suggest one arm per side, but only once and only if she looks puzzled.

Potty Humor

Let's see, where do I begin? Ashton has gone 3 weeks without pull ups and is, dare I say, potty trained? Sure he tends to drop trow and pee on anything that doesn't move, but hey, at least he's not having accidents in his pants! I guess having a restroom in his new preschool class was all he needed. (His old preschool had a shared restroom in the hallway for all rooms)
Kate is restarting her potty training now that her new preschool is on board and just cracks me up. She told me yesterday that her naval is her "pee pee button" and if she pushes it hard enough pee pee will come out! Also, when she tries to make #2, it's like something out of the Austin Power's movie. I almost expect to hear "Who does #2 work for?" with all of the loud grunting noises she thinks she needs to make.
Also, yesterday in the span of 10 minutes all of the following happened:

• First, Ashton was trying to "fix" Paul's assisted pull up machine in the garage with a screwdriver, slipped and fell hitting his private area on the way down. We rushed in to the wailing child make sure he was not bleeding (he wasn't) and carried him to the couch where I held and hugged him.


• Then Kate, ever the caring sister, came to him with a look of concern all the while telling him "No cry Ashton, no cry." She then offered to help the boo-boo to make it "all better", saying "I kiss your pee-pee and make it all better." I quickly redirected her to his cheek, assuring her that would be the best place to heal the pain.


• While Paul and I were consoling Ashton in the living room Kate wandered into the kitchen where Paul and I had been cleaning up from dinner. Noting we were busy with Ashton, she decided to sneak a few sprinkles that she found in a jar on the table. The next problem arouse because they weren't sprinkles, they were crushed red pepper flakes. Having near convulsions she screamed out in agony as I rushed to see what she had done. Me: Here is some water. Kate: (Chug chug chug) Me: All better? Kate: Noooooooooo! Paul: Try some chips! Kate: (Eat eat eat) Me: Chips make it all better? Kate: Nooooooooo! Me: Here is some milk. Kate: (Drink drink drink) Me: All better? Kate: Nooooooooooo! Me: How about some crackers? Kate: It hurt Mommy! Me: I bet it does Kate. Here is some more milk. Kate: Ok. Ouch Mommy ouch! Me: Drink your milk Kate. Paul, can you open this bottle of wine?


• All this was in the span of 10 minutes or less!

Yes, kids keep you on your toes. I tell you what, the FEMA Director has nothing on me!

Holy Chocolate Batman!

They did it again! More plotting in bed late at night by either Ashton or Kate led to the following scene which I had to wake up to Monday morning. (By the way, this is Betty Crocker Fudge Icing) . Thankfully it was time to get the carpets cleaned anyways and Daniel from my earlier post: http://ipretendwithyou.blogspot.com/2008/09/always-judging-always-judgin.html did an excellent job of getting it cleaned up. (Daniel did laugh at the tiny chocolate handprints). Not only were my carpets a mess, so were my walls, 36"TV and children.

What a thing to wake up to! I just ordered them to the tub, washed them off and asked them "What am I going to do with you?". They saw the tears welling up and offered apologies with kisses and helped clean up what they could. They made empty promises not to "play with chocolate" again and I accepted them with all the hope I could muster. What else could I do?

Snow Day!

I just got in from work and about 25 minutes ago it started snowing! It's coming down fast and hard and will be there in the morning for the children. I always get so giddy about snow in Charlotte, as it is almost an annual event, coming and going in a day or so. Paul confided in me earlier tonight he thinks my excitement is cute, but can get annoying after a while. (I guess when you grow up in Detroit, snow in winter is like sun during the day.) I rushed home to wake the kids and show them this rare event, as they've been learning about snow for the past 2 weeks in preschool. Tonight Ashton reminded me just how much like his daddy he really is. I ran upstairs, sat on the edge of his bed, and gently woke him up. He sat up, alarmed I had interrupted his dreams. He blinked his eyes and rubbed them as I excitedly told him it was snowing big fat flakes outside. Once he realized what I was telling him, he barked at me "No I don't want to see snow" and buried his face in the pillow. So I kissed his head, patted his back and turned off the light. Kate was simply unable to be roused from her deep sleep and will also miss the show. Oh well, hope they get to enjoy it in the morning!

Taken the morning after:

Kate & Ashton, Apart of the Dream

Today, on MLK Day, I spent time listening to a recording of the August 28, 1968 speech given in front of the Lincoln Memorial. This is across from where tomorrow, the 1st African-American president will be sworn in. My own personal dream is that, as white southerns, when Kate and Ashton are old enough to realize the meaning behind what he spoke of, it will be so far distant in history they will never be able to relate to it. That is my dream.

"...And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

I think that beyond black and white, there are new challenges today that Martin may not have seen coming. I feel and see a spreading gap between the many Latino and South American immigrants that reside in the south, helping to literally lay the foundations and build the walls of our ever sprawling suburban lives. With Richard and Renee as close friends I hope this helps the children see beyond color and/or origin and judge on content of character (as MLK spoke of). Also, as members of a the upper-low class or lower-middle class, there are tremendous disproportionate opportunities for people that are under privilege. And, females still lack equal representation in many fields and senior level jobs. So, as the white southerns Martin spoke of, the preception is false that Ashton and Kate hold all the power. They themselves will face struggles against what they are born into, but I still naively hope that life does not limit them based on any limits that they do not impose on themselves.

Life is too short to fill with hatred of differences, when we all have something amazing to offer. Ashton and Kate, if you read this, seek the good and interesting qualities in people, be mindful of the bad and derogatory, and never stop learning through travel and interacting with people of all backgrounds, race and origins.

Circles

Tonight while I was putting Kate to bed, she opted to draw with her Magna-doodle instead of reading books. She's really into circles lately and drew what looked like a dust cloud. I asked her what did she draw for me? She gazed thoughtfully at the drawing for a moment then reported it was "balloons". Then I asked her to draw another picture. She made a small circle, proudly reported it was a "bubble" and touched it while making a poping sound. She is so great with pretending, I love this creative side of her!

Mommy Tantrums Do Exist!

Yes, my children love to push my buttons. They must lay in bed at night, planning out their day with a special focus around random, naughty "To Do" lists. I mean, really, the things they pull off can't be spur of the moment. You don't just wake up one morning, wander downstairs and think "Hey, a 3 lbs Costco sized-bag of trail mix would look GREAT on the living room floor...organized by nut type of course! The last time I did it size didn't work out so well, as demonstrated when Mom yelled at me/put me in time out/bordered on the brink of CRAZY." That kind of debauchery would surely take some kind of planning right? That type of havoc just isn't spontaneous. I mean...really!?!?!

Since I've become a mother I swear my patience has more than tripled in capacity. But you'd never know it from the amount yelling and screaming that sometimes flows out of my mouth or all the tears of frustration that will just spring to my eyes. I found this article in the NYTimes and was happy to see I'm not alone. Check it out! I will say, after the fact I do smile and laugh, but I'll be the first to admit, in the moment I cry or yell...sometimes loudly.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/can-it-be-good-to-yell-at-your-kids/

Seemed Like a Good Idea!

Tried to teach the little ones to ski over the holidays. Two- and four- year olds with waxed boards strapped to the bottom of their feet pointing down a steep snow-covered slope. Yeah...seemed like a good idea at the time. The good news is noone broke ANYTHING! :) (That's Paul's ski next to Kate's ski!)

Check out Grandma Darlene's photos of the excursion: http://ronanddar.shutterfly.com/58

Here are my photos:http://the704reids.shutterfly.com/2991