My True Story - There Is Good In This World

I just came across this old email I had written to myself, Dec. 2007, before I began blogging and wanted to share. Enjoy, it's my true story.

Dawn's Story:
As a sleep deprived mother of a 1 year old and 2 year old, I have to admit I'm not always at my peak awareness. On Sunday, December 2, 2007 after a meeting for work I stopped for a quick bite at a fast food restaurant on the way home. Not paying attention while calling my husband on my cell phone, I left the restaurant minus my purse (which I had left on the back of my chair.)

Now, everyone cringes at the thought of loosing their wallet and/or purse, but this was a particularly bad incident due to the fact I had stowed the wedding set my father had given my mother (and was now mine) as well as the small diamond and peridot necklace my husband had managed to afford on our meager income last Christmas in there. (Apparently, due to the high stress in my life, I had been breaking out in a rash where the white gold had been touching my skin, and I was planning on seeing a jeweler about it the next day). After arriving home 30 minutes later and realizing what I had left, I broke out in tears and called the restaurant. As I had feared, the purse had not been spotted by the staff or turned in. I then called the police and the wonderful female officer that was put in touch with me went immediately to the site and checked around. Still no purse. Many tears later over the course of two days, I came to realize that while the loss was a terrible one, my marriage was still very much intact in spite of the stress of our lives and that is what mattered most.

But then, that Wednesday, there came a knock on our front door and a man stood there with a handwritten note with a name and a phone number of a man to call saying only his boss had sent him. When my husband called the number, it turned out to be the boyfriend of the woman who had found my purse! When I spoke to Cheryl, she said she had seen my purse at the Wendy’s, looked into it and noticed the wedding set first. She then told me a story of how her wedding set had been stolen when she was 25 years old and how she had never gotten over it and wanted to be sure I got my set back. She then asked if I would meet her at the restaurant so she could return the purse. I was too scared to ask about the jewelry, afraid it was not there. Still, not believing my ears I rushed my family into the car stopping only at Costco to pick up 2 dozen yellow roses and $100 in cash. While we waited I penned a thank you note telling her how much the gesture meant to me and how she had set the example I hoped to live by for the rest of my days. Just as I finished she pulled up in the passenger side of an older model car with some body damage, a woman my age driving. Cheryl's daughter handed me my purse through the window as tears came to my eyes. Cheryl insisted that I check the contents of the purse while she watched with pride in her eyes saying that everything should be there and she had carefully placed the jewelry in a little baggy, then into a side compartment. My thoughts raced – the set should have been given quietly to her daughter, pawned at a shop to get money to repair their car, sold on ebay.com to earn Christmas gift money…but it wasn’t. I will forever be grateful to Cheryl and family and while we aren’t what I would consider “friends” she will be in my thoughts and prayers always and a part of my family history and lore for generations to come.

Carefully Laid Plans

Today, I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders as I register Ashton for our school system's magnet program lottery. For those who don't know, in Charlotte we have the option to send out kids to our neighborhood school or to enter a lottery for a chance to send them to various programs tailored to start them on specific tracks. My 1st choice is the Talent Development/Learning Immersion school down the street and the 2nd choice is a Padeia Academy. (Info on both - Padiea http://www.cms.k12.nc.us/cmsdepartments/ci/MagnetPrograms/MagnetThemes/Pages/PaideiaAcademy.aspx and TD/LI http://www.cms.k12.nc.us/cmsdepartments/ci/MagnetPrograms/MagnetThemes/Pages/LearningTalentDevelopment.aspx I'm not sure if these programs are "better", more structured, or just different. As I click the submit button to put my child's future into a bucket of chances I wonder, hope, and pray that I am doing what is best for him. What if he gets a lottery selection and it's too hard and he beats himself up all the time or too easy and he goofs off? Or what if he feels like I short changed him if he doesn't get in because the 1st day to register was today but I waited until the afternoon to do it? What if the kids are too rough on my rising kindergartner and he becomes rough to fit in? What happens when he leaves the safe confines of my home and kids his age to be around big bad 5th graders? He'll want to ride the bus and I will want to drive him. He'll miss his best friend Richard, who is not in a magnet program, and I'll feel guilty.
I feel myself wanting to cry as I type this because, while I'm gaining a kindergartner I'll be loosing my baby forever. It's been awhile since the roundness of his toddler face melted into the slim profile of a boy, but I do find myself still wanting to cradle him at times, swaddled in a blanket.
As he goes off to school, my first born and valuable treasure, I know that Paul and I will no longer be his only heroes. He'll be learning life lessons we won't/can't teach him and we can't fully protect him anymore. He'll go through the rough patches and the proud moments and I won't be there to help him or applaud him. People warned me raising a child would be a roller coaster ride of emotion. I still find myself caught unprepared as we ascend this hill with the slow click-clicks-click of anticipation.
I hope I am doing what is best for him by interfering and that the track I'm setting him out on brings out the best and happiness in him and to him. I can only wish that because I am doing this with love and care it will all work out for the best. I know that he will be so excited and happy on his first day of school and hope it stays that way as he crosses the stage and holds up his college diploma high.
What I do know is that he will grow to be a capable and fulfilled man and will find his place and happiness in the world. I just can't help but feel the weight of my little boy's future on my shoulders, knowing that the first step of his life's academic journey is still such an important one.
Don't get me started on Kate and how emotional I will be when she runs off to her 1st day of school and I am left alone!)

Thankful

Two days ago I heard some tragic news that made me stop and be thankful for my own situation. Someone I know had a niece who gave birth this week to a baby that died due to strangulation by it's own umbilical cord during delivery.

This was horrible to hear, particularly since Kate, when born, had her umbilical cord wrapped and knotted around her own neck. I remember the doctor saying he had never seen anything like it and him likening it to a sailor's knot of some sort.

You see, it all started with impatience...mine. Being as big as a house and chasing around a toddler in the dog days of summer was just about more than I could handle, never mind that Kate was taking her sweet time arriving. After her due date came and went, I think it was around the 1 week mark after it I started pleading with my OB to induce labor and get her out of me.

He agreed and we scheduled an induction for Sept. 15, 1.5 weeks after her due date. We checked into the hospital the night before and I was given Ambien (sleeping pill) by the nurses so I would be rested and ready for labor inducing in the morning.

Around 4:15am I remember being roused from sleep by what I thought was labor. I woke Paul up and told him the baby was coming and to call the nurse. Two nurses came in and told me it wasn't time yet and to go back to sleep. I tried to, but the contractions were too strong.

I then made Paul get the nurses back in to check me about 15 minutes later. I remember the nurse was grumbling to herself that she was busy and I wasn't ready, but agreed to check my cervix. It was then that she lifted the sheet and yelled to me "Whatever you do, don't push yet! I've got to get the doctor!" She then hurried out of the room.

Frantic and dazed from the sleeping pill, I looked to Paul trying to figure out what was going on. He then checked under the sheet and screamed out "I see the baby's head! Where is the doctor?" I then looked to the door of our room just in time to see the doctor stumbling in putting his shoes/booties on. He hurriedly sat down on a stool and pulled up to my "area" just in time to coach me to push, the baby was in fact, as I had told them, "coming". (Why doesn't anyone EVER listen to the mother in situations like these???)

After the normal birthing process occurred, Katherine Elizabeth (Kate) arrived into this world and we received the standard "It's a girl!" (which we knew) and I waited for her to be placed on my chest so I could meet her. I guess I got caught up into hearing the nurses talk about her amazing strawberry blond hair, (me thinking she must be blond like her daddy but it was tinted with blood or some fluid) but, as the minutes ticked by, I became worried. As soon as I began to speak up, she was given to me and we were told of how lucky we all were. She did have her own umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and it had become tied, so had she waited until we had scheduled her for delivery, she may not have made it. The doctor also went on about the oddness of the type of knot it resembled and how unique that was. But, honestly, I guess I thought death in childbirth was a thing of long ago historical novels and surely it wouldn't have happened in the new high-tech hospital we were in, so I just shrugged him off thinking she was never in any REAL danger.

Now, two and a half years later, as I heard the awful story of my friend's niece's loss, I was reminded of how lucky we are to and how thankful I am that Kate is with us today, happy and healthy!

Ashton-isms

Lately Ashton is trying out some grow up talk. Sometimes it comes out right, some times wrong, but usually unexpected either way. Enjoy!

• Ashton:"So, what's with the guy mowing Susan's lawn anyways?" (He inserts the word "anyways" anywhere in a sentence and often.)


• Ashton: "Kate can wear my Superman PJs, but not on Sat." Me mildly amused: "Why, what's going on Sat?" Ashton: "I don't know, Sats are just kinda weird. So no PJs for Kate on Sat." (He also thinks kinda and weird should be in about every sentence. )


• Ashton: "Is it tomorrow yet?" (Paul and I can't figure out how to explain the concept of tomorrow to him so he can get it.)


• Ashton: "I want $64,000 so I can buy a toy." or "In 960 minutes I'll be ready." (Numbers don't quite mean what they should I guess.)

Love this time with them!

Super Parenting...and What the Rest of Us Are Doing.

On Here and Now with Robin Young this segment caught my attention: "Bad Parenting - Literary critic Steve Almond joins us to discuss a slew of new memoirs in a hot new genre that some are calling “Bad Parenting.” Authors discussed in the segment: Diana Joseph, Robert Wilder, Rebecca Woolf. Find Steve Almond’s essays in the books, “Blindsided by a Diaper” by Dana Bedford Hilmer and “The Book of Dads” by Ben George."

I find myself laughing, thinking and sympathizing with this segment. Fascinating is the subject matter to me, particularly the discussion on where today's culture of "Super Parenting" comes from. Steve Almond talks about how, 40 years ago, parents were surrounded by extended family and were given advice and help by the experienced. Now, in our culture of high achievers and distanced families, parents project this need to be the best and least vulnerable upon ourselves and hold each other to impossibly high standards that may be tearing the fabric of our communities apart.

I hope that, through my honest and direct blog postings and stories I share with everyone I am single handily helping to change this stigma. I hope that my parenting is portrayed as rocky, but filled with good intentions; clueless, but learning; and filled with many emotions, but ultimately cemented by love and humor. Honest and true, it is what it is, a wild and unexpected ride filled with stomach lurching turns and thrill filled descents and climbs. As crazy as it is I wouldn't trade this part of my life for all the money in the world. But I would like more calmer days and less chocolate on the carpet mornings! :)

Good Genes

I just wanted to mention that my grandmother, Grandma Rossmeisl, just turned the big 9-5 this week! WOW! 95 years old!
Born in 1914, she has seen so many things change and so many stay the same. She told me today she remembers the depression and people running on the banks. She spoke of the lessons she learned to be careful with money and how they are as applicable today as they were 80 years ago! I mean, wow!
She used to fill an afternoon telling me of all the changes and advances she's seen happen to the world and I'm so glad I was able to listen.
The greatest thing of all about my Grandma is the youth she still carrys with her and the sparkle in her eye as she jokes and laughs with me. She still keeps busy and her mind is sharper than mine is today, always remembering to ask about my husband and children. I wish that I am half as active as she is at 52.5 and am just like her! She is firm and stern, but a big softy when it comes to babies and small children.
The most precious thing she has taught me was to leave the working world and to "hold tight to my little ones, because when they go to school, they belong to someone else for 8 hours a day and are no longer mine." She is soooooo right! I love you Grandma and I miss you! Until we meet again. ;)

True Love!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and Know That I Am

I know that I am all grown up now. You see, today I realized that I am more excited about giving gifts than I am about receiving them. Watching Asthon, Kate and Paul's excitement was something that no one can box up, buy and give to me, but I'll treasure it always and forever just the same.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Buddy, Family Cat

Buddy is our lovable cat. Everyone that meets him finds him sweet, adorable but a little odd. Here are a few reasons why:

Buddy refuses to eat table scraps of meat, but LOVES yogurt (even with strawberries).

• Does not run. Ever. Not after birds or from dogs.




• Walks quickly to meet strangers, not away from them. (Don't most cats run from strangers?)




• Comes when you call his name.




• Snores loudly.




• Does not know how to climb a tree.




• Enjoys visits with our neighbor's dog, Scotty.




• Has terrible balance.




• Has fallen from our loft and broken his leg.




• Grows back different colored hair if you shave him.




• Has blue eyes.




• Lets my daughter put necklaces on him and play with his hair.




• Stalks me in all rooms of the house, at all times of the day and night.




• Avoids his water bowl, preferring to drink only from algae covered fish bowls or toilet water.




• Gets attacked by birds if he is in our front yard.




• Lays under my neighbor's bird feeder watching birds all day, never chasing them in anything faster than a SLOW crawl.




• Tries to scratch my brother Brian's eyes out every chance he can.

Even with all his eccentricities - he's mine, I love him and you can't have him!

The Priorities of a Newly Turned Two-Year-Old.

At night, when I put Kate to bed, we say a simple prayer asking God to bless all of our family and friends. We begin with "God bless (insert name here)" and end with "Amen". Lately, Kate has taken to making sure God blesses everything she values. Here is a list of things she has thrown into our nightly prayer mix, somewhere between her various Grandparents and Aunts/Uncles:

• "God bless t.v."





• "God bless chocolate milk"





• "God bless fan" (ceiling I think)





• "God bless outside"





• "God bless baby doll"





• "God bless Elmo"





• "God bless light on please" (Is this her way of searching for a sign?)

My one prayer is that both she and Ashton look away from organized religion and begin a transcendental approach to life, possibly through the worship of nature. I would like to see them taking the time to stop and not only smell the roses, but appreciate all the flora and fauna around us. As Ralph Waldo Emerson one said "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. "

Hush My Little Babies, Hush

After the party today (more on that later) we had to pack up two exhausted children and ride over to Paul's friend's house to get our newly brake-padded Corolla. On the way, the sleepy birthday princess was crying and carrying on while fighting sleep. Frustrated and tired myself, I began to ignore her when all of a sudden I hear a very soft voice out of the back seat quietly singing "Lollipop, lollipop, oh lollipop". When I turned my head to see the source of this sweet song , it was Ashton singing Kate to sleep with her favorite song. My heart just melted and I was so...I don't even know the word to describe it. But when times are tough with him, and oh yes, he is a tough one, this moment will carry me through. I love my children.