Carefully Laid Plans

Today, I feel a heavy weight on my shoulders as I register Ashton for our school system's magnet program lottery. For those who don't know, in Charlotte we have the option to send out kids to our neighborhood school or to enter a lottery for a chance to send them to various programs tailored to start them on specific tracks. My 1st choice is the Talent Development/Learning Immersion school down the street and the 2nd choice is a Padeia Academy. (Info on both - Padiea http://www.cms.k12.nc.us/cmsdepartments/ci/MagnetPrograms/MagnetThemes/Pages/PaideiaAcademy.aspx and TD/LI http://www.cms.k12.nc.us/cmsdepartments/ci/MagnetPrograms/MagnetThemes/Pages/LearningTalentDevelopment.aspx I'm not sure if these programs are "better", more structured, or just different. As I click the submit button to put my child's future into a bucket of chances I wonder, hope, and pray that I am doing what is best for him. What if he gets a lottery selection and it's too hard and he beats himself up all the time or too easy and he goofs off? Or what if he feels like I short changed him if he doesn't get in because the 1st day to register was today but I waited until the afternoon to do it? What if the kids are too rough on my rising kindergartner and he becomes rough to fit in? What happens when he leaves the safe confines of my home and kids his age to be around big bad 5th graders? He'll want to ride the bus and I will want to drive him. He'll miss his best friend Richard, who is not in a magnet program, and I'll feel guilty.
I feel myself wanting to cry as I type this because, while I'm gaining a kindergartner I'll be loosing my baby forever. It's been awhile since the roundness of his toddler face melted into the slim profile of a boy, but I do find myself still wanting to cradle him at times, swaddled in a blanket.
As he goes off to school, my first born and valuable treasure, I know that Paul and I will no longer be his only heroes. He'll be learning life lessons we won't/can't teach him and we can't fully protect him anymore. He'll go through the rough patches and the proud moments and I won't be there to help him or applaud him. People warned me raising a child would be a roller coaster ride of emotion. I still find myself caught unprepared as we ascend this hill with the slow click-clicks-click of anticipation.
I hope I am doing what is best for him by interfering and that the track I'm setting him out on brings out the best and happiness in him and to him. I can only wish that because I am doing this with love and care it will all work out for the best. I know that he will be so excited and happy on his first day of school and hope it stays that way as he crosses the stage and holds up his college diploma high.
What I do know is that he will grow to be a capable and fulfilled man and will find his place and happiness in the world. I just can't help but feel the weight of my little boy's future on my shoulders, knowing that the first step of his life's academic journey is still such an important one.
Don't get me started on Kate and how emotional I will be when she runs off to her 1st day of school and I am left alone!)

Out With the Aught's and In with the Teens!

This New Year's Eve day, reading about the rising of Charlotte's uptown crown* I am sitting and thinking of reflections and resolutions and what 2010 could bring. Here's my list:

1. Health - Healthier cooking in the form of less processed foods, more fresh. Growing more in our garden for use in our kitchen. 2009 was a wonderful start, producing watermelons, peppers, carrots and more. I am going to focus on less meat centered dishes and more produce in each meal. Also, no junk food and less eating out.


2. Wealth - Less spending, more frugal. We are already on the right track, with careful thermostat monitoring we've taken the coldest winter in years in stride, reducing our gas bill from $300 last year to $103! Also, sitting back and reflecting these last few weeks during the time to buy gifts and donate items made me realize that a few good quality items are much better than a bunch of cheap throw aways. Better for our pockets and better for the environment. Credit card debt has been a big stress in our marriage and we are hoping to clear that out soon. Can't wait to learn how to sew and use my sewing machine to make things vs. buy things. Ashton's already got a great idea using a bathroom rug to make a car mat and Kate wants a nap rug. And, of course, guess who will be crayons this Halloween (Angelique and Gavin are invited to join the crayon bunch if they would like to.) Wish me luck!


3. Family - Less yelling and more loving. I hope to continue to teach the children that good manners and good listening are what Mommy and Daddy are really asking them for. Dad wants more cleaning as we go and I would like to see the kids fight less and play more. And we both want the kids to enjoy each other instead of competing with each other. I can't wait to see my first born grow in a leap and boud to start kindergarten. While my heart will be both heavy and joyful on that day, I am looking forward to more one on one time with Kate while he's there.

The Aughts brought Paul and I together and Paul down South, a mortgage, a cat, a baby boy, marriage, an A.A. & B.A. degree, two career changes, a baby girl and so much more (all of which I am so thankful for). But as I now turn my focus forward, I am hoping for a less tumultuous decade where I am able to slow down and enjoy my husband and children, this house we've worked to build and fill with love, the simple pleasures in life and each and every precious day to the fullest. Happy 2010!

* FYI - Charlotte raises something for the New Year's Eve countdown, doesn't lower it. (From Charlotte Observer Mon. Dec. 28, 2009 article) "In many cities, whether it's the Times Square ball in New York City, or the giant lighted beach ball at Carolina Beach near Wilmington, some object will be dropped to lead the countdown to 2010. Not in uptown Charlotte. Here, the Queen's lighted crown will be hoisted 25 feet just before midnight Thursday to part the curtain on the new year. "We like the symbolism of hope's rising," said Moira Quinn, spokeswoman for Charlotte Center City Partners, the organization producing the festivities. "It's the rising of a new year, and shutting the door on a year that was tough on a lot of people."

What Will Their Future Hold? (15 + years later)

I stole this video from a former classmate's blog. We both remember watching these commercials air and I actually recall thinking, no way will this stuff happen in my lifetime. Sure enough, we've surpassed most of the promises and funny thing, AT&T does bring much of it! I wonder how things will change for Ashton & Kate in their lifetimes...
Video from 1993 (I was 12ish!)

Kate & Ashton, Apart of the Dream

Today, on MLK Day, I spent time listening to a recording of the August 28, 1968 speech given in front of the Lincoln Memorial. This is across from where tomorrow, the 1st African-American president will be sworn in. My own personal dream is that, as white southerns, when Kate and Ashton are old enough to realize the meaning behind what he spoke of, it will be so far distant in history they will never be able to relate to it. That is my dream.

"...And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

I think that beyond black and white, there are new challenges today that Martin may not have seen coming. I feel and see a spreading gap between the many Latino and South American immigrants that reside in the south, helping to literally lay the foundations and build the walls of our ever sprawling suburban lives. With Richard and Renee as close friends I hope this helps the children see beyond color and/or origin and judge on content of character (as MLK spoke of). Also, as members of a the upper-low class or lower-middle class, there are tremendous disproportionate opportunities for people that are under privilege. And, females still lack equal representation in many fields and senior level jobs. So, as the white southerns Martin spoke of, the preception is false that Ashton and Kate hold all the power. They themselves will face struggles against what they are born into, but I still naively hope that life does not limit them based on any limits that they do not impose on themselves.

Life is too short to fill with hatred of differences, when we all have something amazing to offer. Ashton and Kate, if you read this, seek the good and interesting qualities in people, be mindful of the bad and derogatory, and never stop learning through travel and interacting with people of all backgrounds, race and origins.

Sick, Sick, SICK!

I'm in the midst of a nasty chest congestion cough that is wearing me down to a nub. My blog posts, photo updating and video uploading have come to a basic stand still (this may be the last for a while) and I'm not that great with returning phone calls right now. Hopefully I'll be back on my feet again soon. Until then...Happy New Year! 2009 is going to be simplified and streamlined. :)

Christmas-ville USA

We took the kids to McAddenville, NC http://www.mcadenville-christmastown.com/ Tuesday and they both loved it. We've taken them there before, but this was the 1st year they were both aware and in awe. In all the times I've gone to McAddenville, I've never gotten out of my car and walked the town. We did this time and discovered the following:

1. The church in town plays old instrumental Christmas songs from it's bell tower.
2. In front of the church is a nativity scene made of statues perched high on a hill of sand.
3. Judging from all the footprints in the sand, it's ok to walk up to it.
4. There is no baby Jesus in the nativity, (I guess he appears on Christmas day), but we did find the following note: "If you want to see Jesus again, give us $1,000,000 or he will die."
5. There is a path around the lake with all the lights, but it's behind the trees.
6. The light sculpture of the old north wind blowing snow flakes is perched on a flat bed trailer.
7. When you walk along, 1 out of 3 cars will have a passenger that calls out "Merry Christmas" to you. (You get used to it)
8. You can walk the majority of the town in 30 minutes or less.
9. There is one restaurant in town, "The Village Restaurant".
10. Walking around you get the added bonus of "smelling Christmas", most of the lit trees are some kind of pine (Frasier fir maybe?) and smell amazing.
11. The kids loved picking a small branch of one of the pine trees, so they could take Christmas home.

Loved doing it and looking forward to many more visits around this time of year! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

YES WE CAN! AND WE DID!

The air smells fresher, the sun shines brighter and my shoulders don't sag as much from the weight of the world I carry....OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT ELECT!
Having myself been the recipent of racisim that altered the course of my life, I am proud of the direction this great nation is heading!
Also, what an amazing concession speech by John McCain. Ashton and Kate, you have much to look forward and look to in your lifetimes!

Early Politics

Ashton has declared his party of preference. He is a "Demo-crap" but wants to vote for "McCandy". We are on our way to be a part of history as a civic-minded family!

Once we got to the polls, Ashton & Kate stuck near us as we did all the necessary paperwork. Ashton accompanied me to the voting booth and Kate stood with Paul. He pressed my button for president and then wandered off while I avoided the straight party and hand-picked my people. (GO MUNGER FOR GOV!). We then marched over to the Kids Vote area where Ashton, without any prompting or direction from us, did indeed select John McCain. He also informed us, as serious as a heart attack, that he is, infact, not a "Demo-crap", but a "Re-pumpkin". Kate, all on her own, filled in the bubble directly under Munger for governer (my choice as well). All in all, I look forward to sparking their civic-mindedness and will tell and retell the story of the first presidential election in their lifetimes and how they were apart of it.

Most Important Election of My Adult Lifetime

Today I headed to the library to return a few books, grab some DVDs for the kids and pick out an audio book for my long Sunday car rides and was caught completely off guard by the lack of parking spaces at the normally deserted library. When I finally pulled into the grass in what I deemed a "parking spot" I stepped out into the blistery cold and extremely windy day to assess what was going on. I had to walk pass a line stretching down the side of the building, full of people of all different ages, genders and races. Some of the line were elderly, huddled together over walkers and in wheelchairs; some mothers with small babies wrapped in blankets; all it turns out waiting to cast their early voting ballots for the upcoming elections.

I cannot say what an impression this made on me. All of these people, waiting what turned out to be a two hour wait in very cold temperatures, simply to exercise their basic American right to vote and to make a difference. I knew this election would encourage voter turnout, but I had not expected the scene I saw today. What an amazing time this is and I am proud to be of age in this election. Regardless of the outcome, I see myself sharing stories with my children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren of how I waited my turn to cast my vote in this election of historic importance.

I also heard something on NPR's "Talk of the Nation" election discussion today that was so poetic and filled with such hope I don't think I'll forget it ever. It seemed to ring true with what I want for my own children, simply the opportunity to be who they want to be and do what they want to do, with no limitations but the sky. (I must admit I was jealous and wish I had thought of it, but glad someone had. )

"Rosa (Parks) sat, so Martin (Luther King, Jr.) could walk. Martin walked,
so Obama could run. Obama is running so our children can fly."

Financial Industry Reform - My Plan

I would like to make a suggestion on how a portion of the $700B financial aid package from the US Government should be allocated. I think the money would be well spent by sending a copy of "Gumby: The Movie" to all commercial and residential loan prospects.

This move teaches the fundamental basics of responsible borrowing and of the consequences of irresponsible loans. Getting ready to buy a home? Check out this masterpiece of claymation on the little big screen and avoid the Blockheads!

The follow up should be required viewing of another classic on living within your means - "The Big Lebowski". Live how "The Dude" lives and abide by him for the true key to happiness.

Three Years Later and Still Going!

Check our our Wedding Photobook -

Click here to view this photo book.

Bad Economy = Time To Rethink "Wealth"

As the economy stumbles and slides, I've observed the stress levels of people all around me inch upward. As the overall financial health of this country is beyond my power (other than making sure I cast my ballot in Nov), I've decided to turn my eyes toward the things in my life I can control and the happiness I get from them. Here goes!

• Picking up Kate from preschool every day and the always getting a big hug and even bigger smile followed by "Mommy's here!" (as if we've been away from each other 4 months as opposed to 4 hours)


• Hearing Ashton always ask for seconds, not for himself, but to ensure Kate gets whatever it is he is getting


• Watching the leaves change on the trees and realizing how wonderful fall is in NC. I'm thankful that nature takes no notice of the NYSE!


• Buddy, the coolest cat of all time, is mine and always has time for me to pet him and cuddle with him.


• Having a good man for a husband. One that is patient, even keeled and a good father to our children.


• Meeting new and always interesting people in my job and seeing them insist on having fun, no matter what type of day they had


• Loving my neighbors and the fact that we all know each other by first name


• Listening to my niece's voice over the phone. (It's so adorable and tiny)


• Having both my mother and father alive and around for me, but also for my children to know their grandparents (Both of my grandfathers had passed away before I was born)


• Talking to my grandmothers, both of them, and realizing what huge impacts they've both had on my life and how lucky I am to have to help me parent my little ones


• Having a great mother-in-law that truly loves her grand kids and who's grand kids love her


• Thinking ahead to how this will be the first halloween both of the kids will really be into it and how much fun it's going to be to take my little red dragon and fair maiden princess out to trick-or-treat!


• While we have little left over, I am happy that both Paul and I have jobs and are able to pay all our bills each month and on time!


• Realizing that myself, my husband and my children are all healthy

I mean, really, happiness come not from what happens to you in life but how you react to it right? So, while my retirement savings circle the drain (remember, my background is in the financial industry) all I can do is look forward to working the rest of my life and raising kids that will do well enough to support me in my twilight years! ;)

Scary Thought This Halloween

This is even creepier than

Frankenstein or a witch!

The Priorities of a Newly Turned Two-Year-Old.

At night, when I put Kate to bed, we say a simple prayer asking God to bless all of our family and friends. We begin with "God bless (insert name here)" and end with "Amen". Lately, Kate has taken to making sure God blesses everything she values. Here is a list of things she has thrown into our nightly prayer mix, somewhere between her various Grandparents and Aunts/Uncles:

• "God bless t.v."





• "God bless chocolate milk"





• "God bless fan" (ceiling I think)





• "God bless outside"





• "God bless baby doll"





• "God bless Elmo"





• "God bless light on please" (Is this her way of searching for a sign?)

My one prayer is that both she and Ashton look away from organized religion and begin a transcendental approach to life, possibly through the worship of nature. I would like to see them taking the time to stop and not only smell the roses, but appreciate all the flora and fauna around us. As Ralph Waldo Emerson one said "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. "

The Time Will Be Here Before We All Know It...

This list comes from Karen, but I agree with ALL OF IT. So, when the time comes for my little ones, I hope this still holds tried and true about the years post-high school with parents and pre-adulthood.
So you’re off to college? Things you should know…
-Go away to college! IF YOU STAY AT HOME AND COMMUTE, THAT'S JUST HIGH SCHOOL PART II!! (This is from Dawn).
- There is nothing worse than the first time you get sick and Mom isn’t there to take care of you. Driving to Wal-Mart to get your own Pepto Bismal and chicken soup is horrible and will make you feel very lonely and totally pathetic. To make this bad situation bearable, have “sick” supplies on hand (better yet, stock a medicine cabinet to take with you) before you get sick.
- You know you are a grown up when you have to spend your own money to buy toothpaste and toilet paper.
- You will hate doing laundry. In fact, you will go buy more underwear rather than washing your dirty ones.
-Good luck with roommates.
- The people you make friends with in college will probably still be your friends in ten years. You may never speak to the people from your high school again.
- Have mercy—call home.
- Tell your parents, grandparents, friends, and significant others to send you stuff in the mail. Empty mail boxes are depressing. Furthermore, have them send you “exam supplies” (with lots of sugar) during exam time.
- Stay on top of your academic adviser. They make mistakes that can delay your graduation!
- There is a limbo-zone in which you exist between graduating from high school and before you actually start college (or whatever you will be doing) when you feel like you no longer belong at home, but you don’t belong to this new phase in your life either. There is nothing to be done about this.
- There are idiots in your dorm who will pull the fire alarm at 3 AM. Keep a pillow and a blanket in your car (if it’s close) so you can stay warm and go back to sleep.
- Learn to write thank-you notes.
- Keep change on hand for vending machines and coin laundry.
- Take a multivitamin and drink A LOT of water.
- Everyone gets sick at exam time.
- Take advantage of the groups on campus but don't let them dominate and define you—Bible study, Young Democrats, sports teams, frats/sororities, RAs, etc. Be involved or you will get very little out of this experience.
- Live on campus for at least the first year.
- Learn to cook in a microwave and have a mini-fridge!
- If you’ve never had to study before, you are going to learn now.
- I would advise against a credit card.
- Have something you need to take care of—like a plant.
- You are going to make mistakes—some insignificant and some enormous—this is normal and it happens to everyone. Be the kind of person who learns from your mistakes.
- Every now and then, skip class to have an iced tea and sit in the sun with a friend.
- 8 AM classes will be the end of your academic career.
- The time that you are in college will be the point in your life when you are the most open-minded. Try not to forget what that is like after you graduate.
- Major in something you love—not something simply that may eventually make you a lot of money.
- Be safe, drive carefully, and wear your seatbelt.
- Go on big trips over summer break. Take LOTS of pictures.
- Sometimes life is going to throw you curve balls. You can't really practice for this, but the way you react to what happens will speak volumes about the kind of person you are.
- Try to conduct yourself in a way that you will not find embarrassing in the future.
- You absolutely never know what is going to happen to you so never say never, have a plan B and C, and remember that sometimes, when the door isn't open, you may have to go through the window.
- Keep a flashlight and an umbrella in your car.
- Remember that every person in your life is there for a reason. The right people always show up exactly when you need them and they stay just as long as you need them to stay. Be sure you make the most of the time you are given.
- Don't forget that "you are really fine" and "all is well in the universe."
- And, as Garrison Keillor says, “Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.”