Super Parenting...and What the Rest of Us Are Doing.

On Here and Now with Robin Young this segment caught my attention: "Bad Parenting - Literary critic Steve Almond joins us to discuss a slew of new memoirs in a hot new genre that some are calling “Bad Parenting.” Authors discussed in the segment: Diana Joseph, Robert Wilder, Rebecca Woolf. Find Steve Almond’s essays in the books, “Blindsided by a Diaper” by Dana Bedford Hilmer and “The Book of Dads” by Ben George."

I find myself laughing, thinking and sympathizing with this segment. Fascinating is the subject matter to me, particularly the discussion on where today's culture of "Super Parenting" comes from. Steve Almond talks about how, 40 years ago, parents were surrounded by extended family and were given advice and help by the experienced. Now, in our culture of high achievers and distanced families, parents project this need to be the best and least vulnerable upon ourselves and hold each other to impossibly high standards that may be tearing the fabric of our communities apart.

I hope that, through my honest and direct blog postings and stories I share with everyone I am single handily helping to change this stigma. I hope that my parenting is portrayed as rocky, but filled with good intentions; clueless, but learning; and filled with many emotions, but ultimately cemented by love and humor. Honest and true, it is what it is, a wild and unexpected ride filled with stomach lurching turns and thrill filled descents and climbs. As crazy as it is I wouldn't trade this part of my life for all the money in the world. But I would like more calmer days and less chocolate on the carpet mornings! :)

The Years Have Rolled Around....

Today Ashton, Kate, Paul and I took Scott and Gavin roller skating for Scott's birthday. Kate was so excited and couldn't wait to get her skates on. Ashton was amp'd up and was ready to go. Paul was nervous and mumbling things to himself along the lines of "It better be like riding a bike...". I was just happy to have the kids out of the house doing a physical activity. We had a blast.

Ashton looked like an octopus on wheels because at his skate size the wheels moved. Because Kate has smaller feet, the skating rink fixed the wheels so the wouldn't roll. She basically walked around the rink and danced to the music.

Gavin slept peacefully in his "wheels" (stroller) and when he awoke watched his daddy fly around the rink countless times, happy and smiling.

The afternoon took me back to the weekends of my youth, being dropped off at the rink around 7pm and being picked up at 11pm, spending time as an adolescent among my friends discovering who I was and where I fit in.

The most amazing part of the whole afternoon with my kids was laughing to myself how the Hokey Pokey song played was the exact same version that was played when I was a kid. Somethings never change!

Where Does The Time Go I Still Wonder...?

It's been so long since I've wrote, I'm not sure where to start! Here's a stream of conscience list of things that come to mind -

• Kate wakes me up most mornings saying "It's a beautiful day Mommy, wake up." She then locks me out of my own room to keep me from trying to crawl back in bed at 6am.
• Ashton blows me kisses when he leaves to go somewhere when I have to stay home.
• Ashton is VERY excited learning about plants/seeds this week at preschool. He rushes outside every morning in his PJs to check on our strawberries to see how they are coming along. He rushes to school to see how their seeds are sprouting.
• Now that we are finally out of the drought our yard and gardens are turning out beautifully! We are growing carrots, lettuce, strawberries, broccoli, peppers and watermelon in a beautiful raised box planter Paul built me one afternoon.
• Every day Ashton asks if it is December yet, eagerly awaiting his 5th birthday.
• Every day Kate asks if it is Angelique's birthday yet, eagerly awaiting the time when we will give her the inflatable pool we bought for her.
• Ashton is trying out small talk on the phone. He says things like "Hows it doing?" and "So.....what are you going?"
• Ashton got a medal today from his 1st extracurricular activity, soccer. He is VERY proud of it and tells me he will wear it every day for everyone to see.
• Kate is a wonderful helper, empyting the dishwasher and doing the laundry with Daddy's help.
• Kate is a tremendous artist and can draw a nearly perfect face and includes eyes, nose, ears, mouth and hair. It's her signature and appears everywhere - on the walls, on papers on my desk, on her toys.
• Kate enjoys painting and I'm currently searching for a gently used kid's easel to put out in the garage for her. Ashton's BIG time into tools and loves to fix things. I'm looking for a gently used workbench for him.
• Blue's Clue's is out, Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob Square Pants are in on tv.
• Hide and Go Seek is the new favorite game to play inside or out and they are actually counting now and taking turns seeking and hiding.
• Ashton is very much into board games and tried to play "Life" the other day with us, pretending to get money and pay money. Kate just likes driving the pink car around the board across the hills making "vroom-vroom" sounds for now.

There is so much more, but that's all I can think of right now! I wish I could freeze this summer in time for eternity...but knowing I can't...will try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Earth Hour

Tonight at 8:30pm we will be shutting down our power for 1 hour. I plan to spend the time talking with Paul. I hope to help the Earth and our marriage all in one fell swoop! Ashton and Kate will be spending the time dreaming or we may head downtown to watch the skyline go black...

Where Does The Time Go?

I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend. I will work on updating my blog this weekend.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

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Good Genes

I just wanted to mention that my grandmother, Grandma Rossmeisl, just turned the big 9-5 this week! WOW! 95 years old!
Born in 1914, she has seen so many things change and so many stay the same. She told me today she remembers the depression and people running on the banks. She spoke of the lessons she learned to be careful with money and how they are as applicable today as they were 80 years ago! I mean, wow!
She used to fill an afternoon telling me of all the changes and advances she's seen happen to the world and I'm so glad I was able to listen.
The greatest thing of all about my Grandma is the youth she still carrys with her and the sparkle in her eye as she jokes and laughs with me. She still keeps busy and her mind is sharper than mine is today, always remembering to ask about my husband and children. I wish that I am half as active as she is at 52.5 and am just like her! She is firm and stern, but a big softy when it comes to babies and small children.
The most precious thing she has taught me was to leave the working world and to "hold tight to my little ones, because when they go to school, they belong to someone else for 8 hours a day and are no longer mine." She is soooooo right! I love you Grandma and I miss you! Until we meet again. ;)

Biggun'

Ashton had his 4 year old appointment earlier this week and here are his stats:

• Height - 44 inches (taller than 95% + boys his age) *He grew about 4 inches this past year
• Weight - 48.2 lbs (heavier than 95% + boys his age) *I was surprised by this, he seems so slim to me!
• Body Mass Index - 17.4 (not quite sure if 90% is a good number or not?)

Yes, yes he takes after Paul. But, if I remember correctly, when I asked Darlene about Paul as a child, she seems to recall him being slightly above average as a child then shooting up in height around high school. I wonder what path Ashton's on.

Snowy Night

The little ones finally got a chance to see snow falling, as the snow storm of 2009 began to blanket our area around 6pm last night. They thoroughly enjoyed it, throwing tiny snowballs made from tiny hands and helping Paul make a snow person on our back deck.

Kate, being that naturally girly-girl she is, was so funny grabbing an umbrella before she would venture out. Funny thing though, she did try to get out the front door without shoes! She was also so adorable, sticking her tongue out and telling me "I caught a big one Mommy, yum-yum-yum!"

Ashton was so excited, as he was the first to notice the all day rain change to sleet ("Mommy, what's that click click noise outside?") then to snow ("EVERYBODY COME LOOK! THERE'S SNOW ON THE CARS!"). He was the first one up this morning ready to play in it, having dressed himself all by himself in his jacket, shirt, hat, shoes without socks and running shorts. He was so mad I made him put his pants on! :)

I am so thankful for this March snowfall, happy Ashton & Kate got to actually see the magic of snow falling from the heavens.

PHOTOS HERE: http://the704reids.shutterfly.com/

Slow Like a Turtle...

Ashton started "Soccer Shots" Wednesday and based on what he demonstrated at home, it's a great fit! Basically it's an elective he takes each Wed. Coach Josh gathers all the kids that signed up for it and takes them outside for 1 hour and works with them on the fundamentals of soccer. Ashton's been working on his soccer skills with Paul and seemed excited to go to school for soccer. He reported to us that he likes "Coach Josh" and that he learned the following and demonstrated the skill very proudly!

1st you kick the ball s-l-o-w like a turtle, then FAST LIKE A RABBIT!
Slooooow like a turtle, then fastlikearabbit!

Cracks me up when I seem him do it and glad to see he learned something and found his niche. I'll try and snap a photo of him or video of him doing it and post it up here soon.

Today Was a Good Day

Ashton wanted everyone to know he had a good day today at preschool. He did not go to time out at all and was a good listener, plus it was Gabe's birthday and everyone got to eat giant cupcakes!

Kate also had a good day and got to color and play at preschool and only cried for 2 minutes when I left her.

So, in spite of the recent sea of bad/terrible/horrible days, this all adds up to Dawn having a good day too!

My Little Valentines

Each night before Ashton & Kate take a bath, they set a decorated apple juice container outside our front door for "Cupid". While they take a bath, Cupid comes by and deposits some sort of Valentine's Day fodder (chocolate hearts, tiny snow globes with hearts inside, mini-puzzles, etc) into it, but only if they take a bath/brush teeth/put on pjs.

For 4 years I fought Ashton and for 2 Kate on getting into the tub (they have always loved it once they were in it) and now as soon a the last bite of his dinner is chewed Ashton is naked and running the bath water without even a prompting. He always sounds so excited drying off asking Paul each night "Did Cupid come? Did he??"

I guess I could have continued to carry them/threaten them/punish them into doing what I was telling them, but this way has been so much more pleasant! And they have learned about Valentine's Day and filled the dreary cold and dark winter month of January with the warmth of anticipation and excitement of a holiday that is about L-O-V-E and for L-O-V-E.

Next month I will try my best to delight them into noticing signs of spring - think flower buds, seeds sprouting, daffodils appearing to both instill the wonderment of mother nature's passing of time and begin a lifelong appreciation of nature. I feel in the rush-rush-rush of our daily lives, taking time to stop and notice the flowers is paramount and smelling them is a necessity. Oh yes, and, as the red-haired Kate so clearly demonstrates, we'll be sure to squeeze in some talk of leprechauns to discuss our Irish ancestry too...right around March 17! (My great-grandmother is from the County Cork in Ireland...but were Kate gets her leprechaun-ess is another story for another post!)

Second Born - KER

Second Born Share: Here are my answers to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my second born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? yes, we knew we wanted someone for Ashton to play with



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? yes



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Wow, that was fast. We only tried for a month! (Ashton & Kate are 22 months apart - we were going for more like 24-30 months)



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Pregnancy Test



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then Paul's mom this time



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? September 2 I think, Kate was two weeks late!



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 4 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes and spicy food (Mexican, Thai, Cajun, etc)!



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes and Kate coming two weeks late in the dog days of a hot NC summer!



12. WHAT WAS YOUR SECOND CHILD'S SEX? girl



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 20 on top of the 20 I still needed to loose from my first pregnancy.



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, two



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? She was two weeks late. Also, when Kate came out she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her throat in what the doctor could only describe as a knot he'd never seen before. She almost was a stillborn baby. Thank God she came when she did!



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the same birthing center



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 3 hours. Pushed for 5 minutes.



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul, she came so fast there was no time for anyone to get there!



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 8 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? September 15



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Katherine Elizabeth (Kate)

First Born - ADR

First Born Share: Here are my responses to a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about my first born! Let's see how much I remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? no, it was a wonderful surprise



2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? no, but we are now



3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Disbelief, nervous, excited



4. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 22



5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Morning sickness climbing Crowder's Mountain



6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Paul, then my mom



7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Absolutely



8. DUE DATE? December 17 I think...



9. 9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, all the time for the 1st 5 months



10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Milkshakes



11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Morning sickness and maternity clothes



12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? boy



13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?no



14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 40



15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?Yes, three



16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew



17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? Preclampsia and weight gain



18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Presbyterian Uptown in the brand new birthing center (it was only 2 months old!)



19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 24



20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Paul



21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Paul and my mom



22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?Natural



23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? yes, an epidural and I regret it



24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 lbs 4 oz



25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? December 2



26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Ashton Daniel