Potty Humor

Let's see, where do I begin? Ashton has gone 3 weeks without pull ups and is, dare I say, potty trained? Sure he tends to drop trow and pee on anything that doesn't move, but hey, at least he's not having accidents in his pants! I guess having a restroom in his new preschool class was all he needed. (His old preschool had a shared restroom in the hallway for all rooms)
Kate is restarting her potty training now that her new preschool is on board and just cracks me up. She told me yesterday that her naval is her "pee pee button" and if she pushes it hard enough pee pee will come out! Also, when she tries to make #2, it's like something out of the Austin Power's movie. I almost expect to hear "Who does #2 work for?" with all of the loud grunting noises she thinks she needs to make.
Also, yesterday in the span of 10 minutes all of the following happened:

• First, Ashton was trying to "fix" Paul's assisted pull up machine in the garage with a screwdriver, slipped and fell hitting his private area on the way down. We rushed in to the wailing child make sure he was not bleeding (he wasn't) and carried him to the couch where I held and hugged him.


• Then Kate, ever the caring sister, came to him with a look of concern all the while telling him "No cry Ashton, no cry." She then offered to help the boo-boo to make it "all better", saying "I kiss your pee-pee and make it all better." I quickly redirected her to his cheek, assuring her that would be the best place to heal the pain.


• While Paul and I were consoling Ashton in the living room Kate wandered into the kitchen where Paul and I had been cleaning up from dinner. Noting we were busy with Ashton, she decided to sneak a few sprinkles that she found in a jar on the table. The next problem arouse because they weren't sprinkles, they were crushed red pepper flakes. Having near convulsions she screamed out in agony as I rushed to see what she had done. Me: Here is some water. Kate: (Chug chug chug) Me: All better? Kate: Noooooooooo! Paul: Try some chips! Kate: (Eat eat eat) Me: Chips make it all better? Kate: Nooooooooo! Me: Here is some milk. Kate: (Drink drink drink) Me: All better? Kate: Nooooooooooo! Me: How about some crackers? Kate: It hurt Mommy! Me: I bet it does Kate. Here is some more milk. Kate: Ok. Ouch Mommy ouch! Me: Drink your milk Kate. Paul, can you open this bottle of wine?


• All this was in the span of 10 minutes or less!

Yes, kids keep you on your toes. I tell you what, the FEMA Director has nothing on me!